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Saturday, January 28th, 2006
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Jonathan Ben Alexander is an amazing guy.
He rubs my feet when they hurt.
He buys me gatorade.
He plays cool music at my house.
He cleans my house when I'm gone.
And other stuff too.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, December 9th, 2005
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wow. some things you just wish you didn't know but do anyway cause you have to.
just let me fall off the face of the earth now.
pleeeeeeeease....
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, December 6th, 2005
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Monday, November 21st, 2005
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I had the best birthday ever. I have the greatest friends a girl could ever want.
I LOVE EVERY ONE OF YOU WHO SHOWED UP TO THE SURPRISE PARTY....
Special thanks to Missy for keeping me at the parents and OF COURSE Amanda for going all out, above and beyond, when I thought I was going to be doing nothing on my 25th.
<333333333333333 LOVE LOVE LOVE
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Comments: Read 11 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, October 16th, 2005
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HOW THE HELL did my life get to this point.. I am confused by what I've done to myself. How did I let things go this far, and how did I get stuck in this place?
A month ago everything was so different.
When you start to meet a lot of people, there are going to be some really awesome ones and some nasty ones. I can say that I have met and gotten to know some really cool, chill people. But if there is one person who sticks out as the "nasty" one, I can't say that I have ever met someone so vulgar and immature and disgusting as this one person.
I know that everyone can't be as mature as me (heh)-- but still, if you cut down everyone and sell out everyone and threaten me and publicly tell people I love to die.... do everyone a huge favor and get the hell away.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
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20 random facts about sandy
1. My middle name is Elizabeth.
2. I love high heeled shoes, especially ones with pointy toes.
3. My favorite TV shows are Gilmore girls, Nip/Tuck, Alias, and Lost.
4. When I'm home alone I watch reruns of Dawson's Creek and everyone makes fun of me for it but it doesn't stop me.
5. I quit my job recently because I hated it.
6. I want to be a school counselor now instead.
7. Common things people think about me but are wrong about: snobby, judgmental, and pissed off at the world.
8. My favorite fast food is Wendy's.
9. I have a weakness for helping people, even when they treat me like shit.
10. I signed up for a gym a few weeks ago and still haven't gone.
11. I'm being kicked out of my house because my landlord is selling the place.
12. I'm moving in with my friend Amanda this week to a house around the corner.
13. One of my favorite things to do is to teach sunday school and be around kids.
14. Right now I am listening to My Chemical Romance.
15. I have very violent nightmares pretty often.
16. People thought I was Asian when I was little.
17. They also thought I was adopted because my sister and brother were blond and blue eyed.
18. I don't think I have good taste in jewelry so I rarely wear it.
19. For years I didn't leave the house without makeup on.
20. My best friends live in Las Vegas, Jacksonville, and Washington, D.C.
I tag:
Jackie
Jordan
Amanda
Drew
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, August 27th, 2005
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Don't you love it when you don't remember giving out your number to a guy whose name you don't remember correctly and he calls and it takes you ten minutes to figure out who he is?
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, August 22nd, 2005
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Some advice for my lj readers:
1. Go see The Aristocrats if you haven't already. It's hysterical and unlike any documentary/film I've ever seen.
2. Don't go to Hard Rock on a Saturday night, guy or girl. It's too packed, it's too hot, there are too many guys (bad for guys) and girls just get harassed by the swarm of guys and you can't even tell who it is that's grabbing your ass (bad for girls).
3. Frat guys, even former ones, s-u-c-k. Stay away from them.
4. Also stay away from guys who use pickup lines like "You know what would look good on you? .... Me" or "You got a keg in your pants? Cause I really wanna tap that ass".
5. Don't get wasted when you have to be up early and have a lot of things to do the next day. (I was still drunk when I woke up to go to church .. didn't go.. but I was honest with my mom and told her just that and she somehow wasn't even mad?? And I also had to go to west palm to help my sister get settled into her new place)
All in all, interesting weekend. Once in a while I have to get a little drunk to remind myself why I don't do that.
Missy, Michelle, James... we all have to get together again soon...
( Pictures, as promised )
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, August 12th, 2005
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Yesterday started out like any other normal day. After work I had a really deep massage, which was amazing.. then I went over to the parents' house to borrow some shoes from my mom. They made me some dinner so as I was eating, my mom abruptly starts talking about how she knows I smoke and that if I want to at the house she will leave an ashtray outside for me so I won't have to leave.... OK it may not seem like a big thing but this is probably the biggest breakthrough in my relationship with my parents.. first of all, they don't talk about anything.. second of all they seem to love to tell me what I am doing wrong.
Well this just opened up a big floodgate, at least with my mom. I told her how thankful I was at how cool she was about it, and that I don't talk to her about it because it's not something I'm proud of. It was such a relief, talking about something that I've been trying to hide for a while and they have been trying to hide their knowledge of. After that, everything just came out. A lot about what I am going through, what I don't like about myself, what I don't like about the people I surround myself with... And the weirdest thing was, she didn't tell me what to do once. She did tell me her opinions on all of the people I discussed, which were probably the most dead-on analyses of these people who she doesn't even know. And then she commended me on being so strong.
Ahh I love Fridays at 5:00.
:)
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
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what goes around comes around.. hopefully more will come around.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Col 3:12,13 You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then, you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
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| Time: | 12:36 pm. |
| Mood: |  annoyed. |
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I have a feeling that I might get fired. But the weird thing is, I don't really care. I don't give two shits about this job anymore. Only thing is, I will still need money, something to do. I wish I could do something freelance, something unique, not the 8-5 corporate bullshit.
Ideas? Besides selling my body?
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 3:04 pm. |
| Mood: | pissed off. |
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I am SO sick of this bullshit that I won't be surprised if I start punching faces in sometime soon.
I'm not a violent person, I've never hit anyone.
That's what this does to me.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
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| Time: | 11:29 am. |
| Mood: |  bored. |
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I'm stealing this from Michelle. Things that suck and things that don't.
Things that suck:
Getting up early for work
Not hearing your alarm clock for an hour (again) and getting to work late
Buttons falling off your brand new jacket
Not being able to go out with everyone because you're always exhausted
Getting 40 needles stuck in your arm
Finding out you're allergic to the entire world
Not having the ability to ever do what you want, when you want
That constant feeling in your gut that you know you don't want things how they are right now
Things that don't suck:
Massages
Shopping at Super Target with your sister
New DVD players
Watching movies in bed
Good friends who will sit and talk to you about anything, and who actually LISTEN to you- and not relentlessly revert back to discussing themselves
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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I need to start writing in my journal more. I realized that this is the only way I can really track what happened in my life when, because I have a horrible concept of time and a really bad memory to boot.
As I took a look back just to remind myself of how different things are now than they were, I started to remember how I was thinking, how I felt at those times. I want to always remember how I feel- good or bad.
Right now I feel scared. And sad. And confused. And discontented.
I feel that all I can do is wait. Wait to see what will happen with a job, wait to see if things will come around in my relationships, wait for others to change, wait for me to change.
I hate waiting though. I’m seriously impatient. But I have to. I just hope it’s worth my time and patience and heart.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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boss man just told me to leave work an hour early (I was here 2 hours late last night)...
But I'm not supposed to leave early ever (says bitch compliance lady)
In other news.. got off my ass and onto my sprained ankle to head out to crush last night.. dancing I soon found out was a bad idea... so was drinking when your ankle is hurt... tripped and grabbed a girl's ass to hold me up and then stumbled and almost fell on two dudes... figured it was time to sit down... wound up spending a good deal of the night trying to talk to a girl from Peru who spoke no English... drove everyone home after 3am... hard time falling asleep due to ankle, stomach ache and spinning head... bad morning today... ate sushi for lunch but too much so now my stomach hurts again and i'm tired...
yeah i'm gonna go home early.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 11:35 am. |
| Mood: |  distressed. |
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Soooooo… I am at that point right now where I have absolutely no freakin clue what to do. If anyone could please read this and tell me opinions and advice I’d be really appreciative.
Well I started this job in January, even though I knew I had no interest in it. When I went in for the interviews, I didn’t have a great opinion of the people or the content of the job I’d be doing. But I figured I would take a chance and see how it worked out. And it worked out great at first. The people in my department were super friendly, a little crazy, and told me how great of a job I was doing. Things progressed and after my probation period, I was hired for good with a really amazing salary.
But then this month…… they started piling work on me and I wasn’t prepared to do it all, plus my priorities for which duties I was doing were blurred. I got a little stressed out and frustrated. Someone took notice and must have told the Compliance/HR person. I have also been sick a decent amount but I actually rarely stayed home or left, except for when I was told by co-workers to leave because they didn’t want to get sick. I found out after going to various doctors’ offices many times that I have severe allergy problems that were lowering my immune system, mainly due to the building that I work in and the construction that is going on on my floor.
So Wednesday I get called in to the compliance director’s office and I was told that I have a bad attitude, that I don’t fit in or “connect” with the rest of the people in the company, that they were not aware of my “chronic illness” problem and they don’t really believe me that I have allergy problems (even though I have to take 4 pills a day for it). They actually asked for my doctor’s information. They also told me I can’t walk around thinking that I am better than everyone else, that this isn’t college anymore (I don’t know what that meant), and that they don’t know why I go to lunch with the same girl “an exorbitant amount”.
First of all, I am always genuinely nice to everyone here in the office. I have never been rude to or bumped heads with anyone. I have gone to lunch with many people, I chat with them when we’re in the kitchen, etc… The bad attitude? One day, I got slightly stressed because I had work piled on when I was already tremendously busy. Therefore I have an overall bad attitude and I don’t know how to multitask??? And I have always told them when I have been sick, and even gave them doctor’s notes before. I certainly don’t think I am better than anyone else, if anything I am intimidated by the fact that the people here are so high-up and make so much money. As for who I go to lunch with, why do they give a damn???
To make matters worse, the girl who works very closely with me, and who I have talked to a lot, is the one who ratted me out on all of this. Except, she complains more about her job than anyone. She has talked shit about almost everyone in the company. And my manager, he throws more temper tantrums than a 2 year old and frequently curses and yells and leaves early almost every day. And the compliance director, she only works like 2 days a week!
I feel like these people are ridiculously hypocritical, and they are picking on me because I’m new and I’m young, and I show ONE little sign of weakness and they blow up at me. If they feel that I don’t fit in, then maybe I don’t—but maybe that is a good thing. The only positive aspect left about this job is the money. It’s super boring, I have relatively no interest in it (I don’t share or show that fact to anyone though), and I don’t feel like I am ready for a job like this. I’m not cut-throat enough, or competitive enough, and I don’t want to play their stupid game.
So should I be looking for something more “me”? I realize that no matter what I do, there will always be problems and rude people. But I never go home fulfilled or happy, I have a very blasé attitude about what I do, and now I hate the people.
Please help!!!!
P.S. I need to party hard this weekend.
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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So yesterday started out really bad, one of the worst mornings I'd ever had. Bad news about two people extremely close to me in my family, and I worry a lot about my family. Plus Tuesday night at Lush I was, um, "crunk" a little bit (OK, Missy, a lot) and stayed out way too late. Being at work was hell.
But THEN........
I started implementing an idea Missy & Sean Weeks had to go to Chicago. And now, WE ARE GOING for 4 days in June... but not just to go for vacation, we are all going to BOTH GET UP KIDS SHOWS on June 9th & 10th. Oh I feel so lucky lucky lucky. Thank God Missy is OLD ;P and Sean's mom is awesome cuz she's letting us stay and use her car.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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I don't usually take personality tests but this one was like a slap in the face. At first I wanted to disagree, but truth is, this is exactly me.
| Global Personality Test Results | Stability (28%) low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness (70%) high which suggests you are overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense too often of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.
Extraversion (45%) medium which suggests you average somewhere in between being assertive and social and being withdrawn and solitary.
| Take Free Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
trait snapshot:
neat freak, organized, worrying, phobic, fears the unknown, irritable, pessimistic, emotionally sensitive, fears chaos, risk averse, fragile, unadventurous, depressed, frequently second guesses self, likes to fit in, does not like to stand out, perfectionist, hard working, does not like to be alone, clingy, dependent, practical, cautious, takes precautions, good at saving money, suspicious, heart over mind, busy, altruistic
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Comments: Read 12 or Add Your Own.
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ubers_impostor's journal